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Whether you have discovered this yet or not, there are two types of freshmen: there are the freshmen, and then there are the fucking freshmen. A freshman is a normal human being. A fucking freshman is the type of person you see walking (or running with his or her map out) that makes us upperclassmen mutter to ourselves, “fucking freshman.” Don’t worry, BoUNCe is here to make sure you end up on the not fucking annoying side of the freshmen spectrum. |
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Story by Laura Stoltz Mark Lebrow, 41, spent several hours on the telephone Wednesday complaining to his friend about a lack of indecency in Netflix films. “I got the two week free trial and put five movies in my queue, all of which I thought were going to be nudies,” said Lebrow, sealing Brief Encounter and Diane Keaton’s Smother in envelopes to be sent back. “I guess I just didn’t read the fine print, but they should have explicitly told me what I was getting myself into when I signed up.” |
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- ENGL 237: How to Speak Good
- AFAM 257: Don’t Say That; That’s Racist
- BUSI 457: How to Make More Money Than You Spend
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Image by Mitch Ferguson
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By Tom Bodo Fall Fest is long over, and now all of you first year students probably have inboxes full of junk emails from clubs that you were too excited, distracted or drunk to remember signing up for. Accordingly, you probably have many questions about the mystical “listservs” that seemingly run this university. Us friendly folks here at BoUNCe Magazine are here to help with answers to some frequently asked questions: |
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 Story by Hank Diyx
In an attempt to make America’s favorite childhood sex symbol accessible to everyone, toy industry giant Mattel has decided to create a Barbie targeted toward a gender-neutral audience.
“Tranny Barbie,” said Mattel representative John Endowavich, “is gender-bending fun for everyone. In this generation of inclusivity and acceptance, we’re changing the ‘his and hers’ attitude of toys to a more ‘what the fuck?’ attitude.” |
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You’ve read our articles, stared at our Photoshopped pictures, and witnessed our awesome editing skills. But what do you know the people behind the magazine? We here at BoUNCe feel like we know everything about you (seriously, we’ve done our fair share of Facebook stalking) and decided to bless you all with this opportunity to learn about some of us! Spoiler alert: We’re pretty much the shit. |
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